Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
