Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
