guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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