Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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