Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
