There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
