I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
