I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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