Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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