At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
