: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
