Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
