You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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