I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
