wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
