every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this beer tastes like vomit already
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
