was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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