The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
