Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
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