i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think my vagina is haunted
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
