38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Panties = found
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
