I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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