is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
