you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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