he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
