I molested 6 butterflies tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
