have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
