The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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