I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
