ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
