Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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