Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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