He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
