I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
