Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
