Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Michael Bay diarrhea
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
