I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
