I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
