that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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