my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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