five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
