I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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