wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
