wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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