it's great music for shaving your balls
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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