Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
