I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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