No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
