Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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