there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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